Carnivores
by Strategos Lykos
Summary: Three hungry Jedi has crash-landed in Equestria. Without even realizing there is a language barriers between them and the native lifeforms, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka unknowingly spread fear and terrors into the very heart of the ponies! Rated T for animal slaughter. My God! What have I write about? ... This is a parody, no hate please... COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer:_**

_Did you know that language barriers is not something you could easily overcome? Even SW Galaxy has translators... so..._

_Ahsoka Tano is a Togruta, a naturally carnivorous species who eat their preys alive. She obviously won't do any good when she was stranded in Ponyville! And with the additions of two equally clueless human who love to eat meat... what will happen?_

* * *

"I hate to point this out Anakin, but this is all your fault." said Obi-Wan scolding his former Padawan, who at the moment still trying to fix their hyperdrive engine, leaving Obi-Wan to struggle to pilot the rapidly descending starfighter.

"That wasn't my fault Obi-Wan! If only you do as I asked to re-adjusting the hyperdrive after we're hit by those missiles last week... That was simple repairs that even Ahsoka could..." retorted Anakin, but Obi-Wan quickly snaps.

"And yet you didn't ask her to repair it! or repairing it yourself! Now, that's your fault!" said Obi-Wan sternly.

"Master Obi-Wan, you are the one with free schedules at the base! You should know that we're both are in the frontline..." said Ahsoka, trying to help his master against the older man.

"Stop it Ahsoka, just stop it... bickering like this won't solve our current problem... and..." said Obi-Wan when his face suddenly turned pale!

"Anakin! Did you just shut down the engines!?" said Obi-Wan in panic.

"It wasn't even deliberate, I just tried to cut some cables and..." said Anakin while their ship suddenly plummets into the nearest planet...

"If we are dead, I'll make sure that you will meditate over an eternity Anakin! Now what we should do now!?" said Obi-Wan, while trying his best to manouver the fallen starfighter, so they won't be burned up in the planet's athmosphere.

"I want to throw up... my breakfast..." lamented Ahsoka Tano while the starfighter fall into the ground.

* * *

The Jedi starfighter crash landed into some kind of open plains, near a river, and the three passengers survived only because they are able to withstand the fall, by softening it through the Force. But still...

"Urrrkkk... urkkk..." Ahsoka Tano throw up almost all the content of her stomach. She didn't usually do this after a crash landing, but since the pilot is Obi-Wan, and not Anakin, it was... somewhat predictable. Even Obi-Wan himself also joins her in throwing up... Only Anakin seems to be immune with their recent rough landing.

"Somehow... urrkkkk... I wonder if you actually wasn't a human at all, Anakin..." cursed Obi-Wan, while Anakin tries his best to pat Ahsoka's back to help her relieve the dizziness.

"I'm used to do Podracing, remember? And this kind of manouver didn't meant anything to me!" said Anakin, earning him death glares from both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

"That must be... urrrkkk... really... vomit... urrrkkkk... inducing..." said Ahsoka, while still writhe in agony.

* * *

After almost completely emptying their stomach contents, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka feels really hungry, and they naturally looked inside their emergency ration packs, when they found that...

"Empty?! Anakin, tell me that this was one of your latest prank..." said Obi-Wan, while messaging his temple.

"I... I'm sorry Obi-Wan, but I.. I forgot to..." Anakin tries to apologize.

"You forgot TO RESTOCK OUR EMERGENCY RATIONS?! FORCE! Now we'll be hungry as well while waiting for this Force-damned signal to reach the next Republican-held bases! We didn't even know where..."

"Umm, Obi-Wan, we're at the unknown region, remember? And to be fair... the atmosphere of this planet is perfectly breathable, according to the computers... Not to mention there was forests and... did I just see a garden and small home covered in... plants... outside?" said Anakin, while peering outside their starfighter cockpit.

"Breathable athmosphere right?" said Obi-Wan while opening their cockpit door, and revealing that this planet is at least, in his opinion, as good as it seems...

"Ahh... fresh air! I like it!" said Ahsoka, while jumping outside the cockpit and stretch her hands... enjoying the fresh air...

"Perhaps we should go to that house... or should I said that as a cottage... I know this planet was uncharted, according to our Jedi map... but there's no signs of the separatists here, and we should try to get into the Natives' good grace." said Obi-Wan diplomatically.

"I'm hungry..." said Ahsoka.

"Me too... but thanks to this idiot, we're currently stuck without food..." said Obi-Wan while whacking Anakin's head.

"Ow! B... but... if you hungry, why not just pick those squirrels and rabbits? like what you usually done with those things you eat for breakfast in the Temple?" said Anakin while pointing his finger toward the small group of squirrels and rabbits playing near the cottage.

"Anakin! how many times I've told you to respect other's belongings? Perhaps we should ask for permissions first for whoever own the house to..." said Obi-Wan, but it was too late, as Ahsoka already picked up a small white rabbit, and despite the poor creature's squirms, she held fast onto her prey and pierced her canine teeth into the rabbit's neck, causing it to let a little cry while undergo it's death spasm, while Ahsoka happily munch at it's meat.

"Duh... for the Force's sake... where is your manners!" shout Obi-Wan to Ahsoka, but Anakin quickly replies.

"Obi-Wan, those are just wild animals, for Force's sake! And you knew about Ahsoka's right? She eat gerbils for breakfast! You should be much more sensitive with your own human supremacist views!" said Anakin sarcastically.

"Oh please Anakin, I already knew about that, I also knew that Master Fisto, Master Yoda, Bant, and several other non-humans actually prefer to eat their food alive... but..." retort Obi-Wan while Ahsoka replies, with blood of the rabbit still dripping between her teeth.

"Come on Obi-Wan... this animal doesn't even have any name tags, so it can't be anyone's pet... and then, there's a lot of them here... even if someone owned this animal, we could politely say sorry about it and offer works for payments, or credits... because I am hungry..." said Ahsoka.

*GRUMBLE* and Obi-Wan realize that his own stomach are grumbling as well...

"Well? Want to stay at the ship, waiting for our distress signal to be found without eating anything?" tease Anakin.

"Duh... since this is emergency I..." said Obi-Wan, while he seen Ahsoka was now already throwing out the bones of the Rabbit, stripped clean from all it's meat and innards, except for it's guts, who was thrown as well. Ahsoka then tries to catch a squirrel, who tries to run, but Ahsoka is faster, and the poor squirrel also meet it's own demise at her fangs.

"What is your suggestions for us to eat? I knew that Ahsoka could sustain herself with rabbits and squirrels, but you know that I didn't really able to eat something that was too small, and having a lot of furs..."

"There it is! Our food!" said Anakin while pointing at a small group of little horse-like creatures playing near them without even look towards them... One is just like normal Nubian horse, just with yellow fur and red mane, one has a horn, white fur and purple-pink mane, and one has wings, orange-brown fur and purple mane. Anakin just remembered that fondly, since Padme said that while in ancient times those animals are reared as transport, today, they are mostly reared for their prized meats...

"Well Anakin... perhaps you're right... hunting some wild animals is fine, especially in this kind of emergency..." said Obi-Wan.

But suddenly, the white furred horse was looking toward them, and start to run away after they take a look at Ahsoka. Never want to be outsmarted by wild animals, the hungry Obi-Wan gather the force and leapt with grace and catch the yellow furred one in his hand. The creature tries it's best to struggle against him, but what can it do compared to a Jedi's firm grip at her throat and hind legs?

"This creature is too small to be a proper horse Anakin... I think..." said Obi-Wan, unsure on what he should do since the dog sized creature squirms at his hand and trying it's best to cry a loud neigh...

"It sounds like a horse, it must be just this planet's variant of a horse." said Anakin, while he helps Obi-Wan securing the little horse, and despite all it's cries and neighs, the two Jedi held it's body firmly, negating all it's chance to escape.

"But why it has a rather large pink ribbon at it's mane then? Anakin, we might actually stole someone else's pet!" scold Obi-Wan.

"But master... aren't you hungry? and this ribbon could be an accidental one, since it has teeth marks, as if it was tied up using their own mouth..." said Anakin, while at the background, Ahsoka just picked another squirrel, and eat it as well.

"Point taken, so... What did you suggest we use to slaughter it? You know, our lightsaber cauterize wounds and it won't properly drain the blood of it..." said Obi-Wan, trying to shrug the uneasy feelings lingering on his head, but Anakin quickly opened the tool box using the force, and catch a vibroblade in his hand.

"Well, since we didn't have long, sharp canines like Ahsoka has..." said Anakin while he slit the creature's neck after positioning it upside down, with Obi-Wan's help, causing it to gurgle and let a little spasm, but it quickly ends...

"Well Anakin... if not because this is an emergency... I better prepare for a campfire, while you skin our food today..." said Obi-Wan while gathering what he need to make a campfire. (Afterall, he like his meat well done.)

...


	2. Chapter 2

After properly setting the campfire, and Anakin has finished skinning, and cutting up the little horse. Obi-Wan pick some nearby branches and roast the animal. Anakin quickly returning to try to contact the nearest Republican bases, and Ahsoka just sit at Obi-Wan's side, patiently waiting for the meat to be properly cooked.

"You know master Obi-Wan, but I actually think it will be tastier if..." said Ahsoka but Obi-Wan quickly replies.

"For you, yes, but keep in mind that I am human, I am used to eat properly cooked foods, and I didn't want to caught a severe diarrhea when we're stranded here..." said Obi-Wan with a touch of finality.

"Speaking of which, I wonder about master Skyguy's progress... I don't want to be out of actions for so long..." said Ahsoka.

"Jedi do not enjoy violence, a Jedi must enter a combat with heavy heart, and focus on serving the light, as well as the greater good of the Galaxy..." lectured Obi-Wan.

"But Obi-Wan, I feel if we're being watched or..." said Ahsoka, while Obi-Wan quickly focus his attentions, fearing that some separatists might be near, and...

"Not a problem I think... just some animals watching us..." said Obi-Wan after reaching through the Force.

"Yes, I see a red horse with orange mane, an orange horse with yellow mane, and a purple horse with horn, and dark purple mane... with something like pink streak..." said Ahsoka while looking at the small group of horses watching them in fear behind the bushes.

And then the biggest horse of the group suddenly jump and dash towards them, emitting a loud, and rather angry neigh towards the two Jedi, who still patiently waiting for the meat to be properly cooked. Obi-Wan is somewhat puzzled with this particular animal's behaviour, but then, he quickly spot that the purple one seems as if it trying to gather the force...

"Ahsoka, Watch out! The purple horse is force-sensitive and might has natural force attacks! Prepare your defense!" said Obi-Wan while kicking the red horse at it's stomach, launching it toward the group, while Ahsoka simply raised her eyebrows and watching the weird antics of those horses. And before they can contemplate further, the purple one suddenly fling a large boulder toward them via telekinesis.

But Obi-Wan already predict that, and he caught the boulder mid-air with his own force powers. He then hurl the boulder near the group, trying to shush them away, and he was in a way successful. The two animals run away, but then, the purple one appears to engulf the unconscious red one in a force field and carry him out as well.

"Must be some kind of social animals... helping each others to defend themselves..." Obi-Wan mused a philosophical rambling trying to not thinking about the uneasy feelings he feel. Must be something about the separatists... and he hope Duchess Satine was still all right.

"Speaking of which, did I just see one of them flying high in the sky?" asked Ahsoka, while she points her finger at a rainbow streak flying away from the top of their positions.

"Curious animals... now... come Ahsoka, the roast is ready, I guess..." said Obi-Wan while he take for himself a leg, and eat it gratefully...

"Hmm... those animals surprisingly tasted real good, despite we cook it without seasonings..." said Obi-Wan surprised.

"Hey, gimme one!" said Anakin who suddenly jump from the cockpit, and pick another leg from the roast.

"Well, I think it should be tastier if it wasn't overcooked... I mean..." said Ahsoka while Obi-Wan looking at her somewhat disapprovingly.

"I know it Ahsoka, but please, I can't eat undercooked foods... unlike your master..." said Obi-Wan while nudging Anakin, who happily munch the leg he just taken.

"Wow... this... is... good! Padme should knew about this!" said Anakin while still munching on the meat.

"I agree Anakin... but still, perhaps we should continue our way to the nearest village or town... we need to ask the locals about this planet..." said Obi-Wan.

"Hmm... let us eat first then... but... what was that?" asked Anakin when he see the rainbow streak in the air again.

Obi-Wan reaching through the force, and then scold Anakin.

"It was merely the winged variant of this animal... perhaps we actually landed at their territory, I think?" said Obi-Wan, a bit confused.

"Yeah, perhaps..." said Anakin while cutting the head of the roast to nibble at the shoulder blade.

"Counting that I feel their anger, fear, and hatred, directed to us..." said Obi-Wan while obliviously munching on another piece of the roast.

"But that's what all my food feels about me..." said Ahsoka, trying to explain. "

"If you're ever working in slaughterhouse, you'll understand..." said Anakin calmly, dismissing Obi-Wan's sense of uneasiness.

"I think I've started to understand, why Luminara and Barris proudly said that their people are vegetarians... at least plants can't feel emotions..." said Obi-Wan.

"But knowing which plant is a poisonous one, and which one are edible, is actually much harder than determine that quality for animals..." said Anakin.

"Points taken... perhaps if Luminara was here, she can help us..." said Obi-Wan

"Stole the farmer's plants? I think I've spotted a farm near that mountain Obi-Wan!" said Anakin, while pointing at a rather large orchard they could see at the distance.

"Finally... let's finish our meals and go there to ask for help..." said Obi-Wan.

"Just let us finish eating first!" said both Anakin and Ahsoka simultaneously, while still eating the delicious meat.

* * *

After finish eating the roast, Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka now tidying up their Jedi robes, and cleans up their hands and faces in the nearby river... They feel that night is near, and they feels should walk towards the small farmhouse, at the edge of the orchards. And as they walked.

"Apples... If only I knew about that..." said Obi-Wan.

"So you didn't have to eat that delicious horse? Come on Obi-Wan, don't pity such poor creatures... you must pity our grumbling stomach first!" said Anakin, while Ahsoka only said "Yeah" in support of her master's ramblings.

"Umm... wait a minute Anakin, why these Animals are now wearing funny helmets?" asked Obi-Wan while he just realize that they was already surrounded by horses wearing helmets, that somewhat reminds them of those worn by the Senate guards. Some of the horses carry spears, and some of them actually drawn force powers aimed at them...

"ANAKIN... could it be that we're actually eating the native, sentient population at this planet?" said Obi-Wan while he realize the gravity of this situation.

"That wasn't my fault, Ahsoka is the one who first eat that rabbit!" said Anakin while Ahsoka quickly retorts.

"I'm hungry damn it! And that wasn't our fault that they looks like food!" said her in her defense.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." said Obi-Wan, but much to his surprise, Anakin and Ahsoka calmly drawn their lightsaber and turned them on.

"Wait a minute, are you two really want to pick a needless fight with them?" said Obi-Wan.

"Well, to be fair, have you heard of Ewoks?" asked Ahsoka. "They are one of our favourite food, and the Republic laws didn't grant them sentience... so... they are legally foodstuffs..."

"B... but..." said Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan, I've seen master Shaak Ti, Kit Fisto, and Yoda dine upon a roasted Ewok... and they said that was fine!" said Anakin who suddenly deflect some force attacks done by the horses with horns.

Obi-Wan cannot said anything but drawn his own lightsaber, and deflect the creature's attacks as well. He tries to not actually hurting them, but then, Anakin and Ahsoka didn't pay anything to them, and start cutting down the horses, and they die in droves.

"We've driven those animals off! Yeah!" said Ahsoka.

"Good work Snips... watch out!" said Anakin while he suddenly deflect a rather powerful... Force Lightning?

And the three Jedi now see another horse, a horned, white one, dresses like the rest of them, but with purple armor, blue crest and tail, and near it's tail, there is a some kind of tatto with shield-like image at the each of it's flanks. The creatures neigh loudly about something, but the Jedi didn't really understand...

"That animal is using Sith Lightning! I hate to say this Obi-Wan, but we just found the Sith's secret army! We shouldn't let them threaten the Republic!" said Anakin who leapt toward the Horse with his lightsaber, and tries to slash the creature, but he find his lightsaber was blocked by some kind of force field.

"Damn animal..." said Anakin who then pick the animal with telekinesis, and slam him as hard as possible into the nearest Rock.

"Sith sorcery! We should prepare if Dooku or Ventress actually shown their ugly faces here!" screamed Ahsoka, while blocking another force attack done by... the purple horse they've seen earlier? And now that purple horse was shown to actually have wings, and wear a goofy looking thing upon it's head?

"I have bad feelings about..." said Obi-Wan, trying to found something to let them out of this mess, but a pitch black ball of darkness was shot suddenly towards him, forcing him to deflect the sorcery attack, and he found a dark blue horse, with both horns and wings, and somewhat similar goofy looking thing... tiara... and it has an ethereal blue mane...

"Darkness attack! The Sith must be involved with this... stand on your guard!" said Anakin while he took a defensive position.


	3. Chapter 3

"I honestly didn't know whatever I should be thankful for you two, we've discovered the secret Sith army full of dark side creatures, but we also already eat some of them!" scold Obi-Wan while fending off the dark energy attacks launched by the dark blue horse.

"Correction Obi-Wan, we only eat one of them! Snips only eat normal rabbits and squirrels!" said Anakin, while fending off the purple horse's telekinetic as well as energy attacks.

"Kriff, these creatures are powerful!" said Ahsoka while she desperately block some telekinetic attacks done by the white horse in armor.

"I think I had an idea Obi-Wan!" said Anakin who then suddenly leapt toward the unwary white horse (it's focus are on Obi-Wan), grip it's horn with his own force enchanced Grip, and forcefully yank the horn, breaking it in the process and leaving the white horse fallen, writhing in pain on the ground, with bloody stump where it's horn are present before. Anakin then raising his lightsaber high, closing for the killing blow, but then he was blasted by yellow and bright blue energy beams. Causing him to be thrown at the trees and break one of it.

"Kriffin Bastards!" said Anakin while he stand again, recovering from the sudden attacks, but then, two other horse-like creatures appeared, both with wings and horns. One is white with ethereal green mane, and one is pink with purple-pink and white streaked mane. The pink one appears to somehow engulf the wounded white un-horned horse with a force field, and the white one with green mane resuming the attacks on Anakin, with much more powerful force attacks.

"Aim for the Horns! Those are the source of their force powers!" said Ahsoka.

"But... I still feel that we should at least..." said Obi-Wan, but Anakin quickly cut him off.

"These are Sith Horses! A normal foodstuffs imbued by the dark side and Sith Alchemy! As long as we didn't eat the horned one, they are just an usual, tasty foodstuffs!" replied Anakin while trying his best to deflect a big fire blast launched by the white with green and pinkish maned one..

"Yeah! The Sith Obviously want us to be vegetarians! So they choose to empowered those foodstuffs!" add Ahsoka.

"But what if they are like the Ewoks..." said Obi-Wan.

"Yoda ate Ewoks, therefore Ewoks is foodstuffs!" replied Anakin while still fending off the enraged horses' force attacks.

"Wait masters! There is more of them!" said Ahsoka while pointing out that there are five more enter the fray... each one of the five has some kind of necklaces on them, and the Orange one is suspiciously like the one they've seen earlier... looks like it just spent it's time crying?

"... keep on your guard." Obi-Wan could only said that, when the purple horned and winged horse suddenly leapt to the five newcomer, and somehow prepares to launch a powerful, concentrated force attack. Furthermore, the white with green manes and dark blue with ethereal blue manes also behind them, and giving force powers as well...

"I... have a baaaaaddddd feelings about this..."

"..."

And suddenly Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka found themselves engulfed in a bright blast... Anakin actually said something in the line of "Padmeeeee" or something, but since Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are busy with their own as well, they didn't actually look about it... until...

* * *

"..."

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOO PADMEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Padawan Skywalker! why are you shouting like that?!" said Mace Windu, seems both irritated as well as disappointed.

"M... Master Windu! Where is Obi-Wan and Ahsoka...?" asked Anakin, so suddenly...

"Obi-Wan? You're looking for Obi-Wan? and who's this Ahsoka?" said Mace, who immediately follow with a smack on Anakin's head.

"Ow... what..." said Anakin while trying to defend himself with his right... wait... why does his right hand feels so natural now... and it feels pain when Windu smack on it? And why it was somewhat smaller?

"Padawan Skywalker, you are to be suspended today for disrupting class, and your punishment will be a twenty four hours worth of continous meditation! As where your master is, I'll inform him about your disappointing behaviour today!"

"B... but... the war! We... we... are in the middle of..."

"What war? Padawan Skywalker..." said Mace while trying to use mind probes because he found Anakin's panic and frightened behaviour somewhat unsettling, and while Anakin immediately try to shut up his mind with a mind shield, Mace already seen a glimpse of brutal wars, deaths, and... Dooku turned evil? Yeah, Master Dooku is just recently leaving the order two years ago to pursue his interests in politics, but...

"WHAT? P... Padawan Skywalker... I... I will tell this to the council, but I need your utmost cooperation... I understand that it seems you just got a Vision from the Force!" said Mace while immediately darting out from the classroom. And Anakin suddenly found himself as the center attention of... some other fourteen years old padawans?"

"Anakin, what just happened?" said someone, who Anakin swears like what Barris Offe was used to be as fourteen years old Padawan.

"You just got a force vision? Cool!" said another Padawan who looks like younger version of Ferrus Olin.

"Whe... where am I..." asked Anakin, somewhat both confused and a bit puzzled, especially when he reaches deep into the force, and found those two are really Barris Offe and Ferrus Olin.

"Umm, at Master Windu's Force Philosophy class?" said Barris.

"What?..." said Anakin while suddenly, Master Windu, as well as looks very distressed, and much younger and mostly beardless Obi-Wan Kenobi burst into the room.

"Today's class are dismissed... Padawan Skywalker, you and your Master will do a full report of your visions, both of you, in front of the Jedi High Council. I'm sorry for what I've done to you earlier, Skywalker, but I honestly didn't know about the circumstances!"

"Anakin! I'm glad to see you! Did you remembered our last misfortune with the horses on an unknown planet?!" said Obi-Wan.

"Wait Obi-Wan, did you meant when we eat a horse, kill some, and then battling some force-sensitive horses too?" said Anakin, earning him weird, but somewhat accepting looks from Mace Windu.

"Yes, with Ahsoka too... now, where is sh..." said Obi-Wan while suddenly, Kit Fisto and Plo Koon entered the room, carrying a crying, six years old Ahsoka Tano.

"Ah, there they are..." said Kit Fisto.

"Good, now, we can verify are those are indeed force visions, or something worse..." said Mace Windu...

* * *

_Meanwhile, in equestria:_

Princess Celestia is comforting a younger Twilight Sparkle, who is crying her hearts out at her mentor's warm hug.

"There... there... no need to cry Twilight... the time-reversal spell worked properly... we have eight years to prepare for the upcomings of those Abominations..." said Princess Celestia softly...

"B... but... I miss my friends... and... Princess Luna is still..."

"I sense her already... indeed, currently, she's still battling the Nightmare Moon by herself in the moon... I'll soon go there and help her... I feel that she also remembered everything..."

"S... so... m... my friends..."

"Shush... don't cry... don't cry... After I visit my sister in the moon and freed her... we will go to ponyville and gather all the mane six, this time much earlier... after we sacrificed the elements of harmony to do the time-reversal spell... we must look for another source of power..."

"Y..."

"Shush... don't worry Twilight... everything would be fine... We will be prepared for the comings of those Abominations, and we will vanquish all of them..."

"Yes... I know, they're coming from the space... but we still have our chances..."

* * *

_**THE END...**_


End file.
